Ways to help you cope with grief and loss *

Ways to help you cope with grief and loss *

Losing a member of your family, or a close friend, is traumatic.  As some of you know, I’ve written before about losing my mother while I was away at university, and it was something that I was neither prepared for nor equipped to deal with.  One of my fellow bloggers, Shevy, has very recently and very sadly lost her husband.  Her Young Widow Too Soon blog is both a beautiful tribute to him and a record of how she and her family are coping.

Ways to help you cope with grief and loss

It’s very easy to forget that the death of a loved one can take an emotional, mental, and physical toll on your wellbeing.  So it’s very important that you have a good support network around you, to help you.  Here are a few suggestions on how to cope with the grief that accompanies loss.

#01 It’s OK not to be OK

It’s important to remember that it’s OK to lose the plot when grieving.  Losing a family member or friend can play havoc with both your physical and mental health.  So it’s completely acceptable to ask for help and support when you’re struggling.  You need to ensure you give yourself time to open up and express your feelings, rather than bottling everything up inside.  I didn’t do this at the time (for various reasons) and it’s something that, nearly 25 years later, still affects me from time to time.

#02 Take care of yourself

It’s so easy to let things slide and forget to look after yourself when struggling through the grieving process.  Although it’s difficult, you should try to care for yourself too, not just those around you.   For example, many people lose their appetite after a loved one dies, or turn to junk food because the effort of preparing meals can feel like too much to cope with.  However hard it is, trying to maintain a well-balanced and healthy diet will help to regulate your mood.  Please remember, self-care isn’t selfish.

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#03 Get enough sleep

Ah sleep.  When you’re grieving, it sometimes feels like all you want to do is go to sleep to block out the pain.  A good amount of quality sleep will also help to regulate your emotions and leave you feeling better equipped to face the challenges ahead.  If, you’re not getting enough sleep though (I didn’t), do please speak to a doctor, who may be able to prescribe some temporary medication to help.

#04 Funeral preparations

When planning your loved one’s funeral, it can be daunting to know where to start.  If you’ve never planned a funeral before, there are various factors that you’ll need to consider.  Do you know whether your loved one wanted to be buried or cremated, for example?  If the latter, then you could take a look at an organisation such as Simple Cremation to get an idea of prices and packages.   They also offer a free planning guide to help you decide what might be best for you, and their professional and sensitive team can help with any other queries you may have.  My mother wanted to be cremated and her ashes were scattered in the Rose Garden of Remembrance at our local crematorium.  I think when my time comes, that’s the way I would prefer to go too.

Remember…

The death of a loved one, whether sudden and unexpected, or following a long drawn out illness, is something that affects us in more ways than we perhaps realise.  Having a close circle of support will do much to help you get back on your feet again.  If things get too overwhelming, make sure that you reach out to a friend or family member, or even a professional who will be able to give you guidance and advice.  And most of all, remember to be kind to yourself and allow yourself time to grieve.  As one of my favourite clients says, time alone is also good for you, it’s healing from the past and preparation for the future.

* This is a sponsored post.

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Bexa
Guest

This is such a well-written and helpful post Lisa. I always admire the way you write about grief and loss in such a kind, gentle and sensitive way. These are all really useful suggestions, taking care of ourselves is so important especially when we are going through a difficult time. Opening up and talking to close family and friends as well as speaking to a professional is great advice. Thank you for sharing your experience lovely, this is such a comforting post for those going through a tough time <3 xxx

Bexa | http://www.hellobexa.com

Annie
Guest

Thank you for writing this. I lost my Grandpa a couple of years ago and it was probably the toughest thing I had to go through. I was extremely close to him. Opening up about my feelings was something that I really struggled with so instead I shut myself in my room for most of the time. But you’re completely right, it’s not very healthy to keep all those emotions inside.

Hels
Guest

You’ve written this really beautifully and sensitively, I really, really admire your writing. These are such helpful suggestions. My Grandma passed away around Christmas a couple of years ago, as did my husbands Grandad, so it can be a really hard time. Everyone deals with grief differently, but I think you draw on some of the most important things, such as having support around you, and giving yourself time.
Hels xxx

sharnah
Guest

A sad post but a very important topic, and really well written. This is a post I want to write myself but I know I will struggle. I know this will help a lot of people including myself. Grieving is something that for me never goes away you just learn how to cope with it. You are right, self care isn’t selfish and we need to make sure we look after ourselves especially whilst we are grieving. xx

Rums the Reader
Guest

It’s always so tough losing a loved one, under any circumstances but especially when its unexpected, it hits hard. I’ve experienced it with my grandad about 2 years ago and I still forget sometimes that he’s no longer here. Your tips are definitely spot on, especially the ‘taking care of yourself’ one – it can be so easy to be overwhelmed and ignore your own needs. Thanks for sharing x

Bethany Jane
Guest

Ah, Lisa, you’ve covered this beautifully. Grief is such a hard and lonely landscape to navigate, and it is so easy to stop caring about yourself when you’re hurting so much. So far I’ve never had to be the person organising a funeral but there is so much to consider, I’m sure it can be very overwhelming but hopefully, your tips will help people who are going through it. Thank you so much for sharing.
Beth x http://www.adventureandanxiety.com

Amie
Guest

This is such an amazing post my darling, I love the way you’ve written this and so kindly as well!

Love, Amie ❤
The Curvaceous Vegan

Shevy du Toit
Guest

Hugs to you Lisa XX Thank you for the mention and for sharing… all of these things are so pivotal to grieving in a way that is both physically and mentally beneficial. Alas, some days are easier than others. Some days are also not as easy. It’s a journey 🖤

Shevy
http://youngwidowtoosoon.com

New Lune
Guest

This was written beautifully, it’s such a sad post but it’s so helpful. You’ve mentioned great tips, thank you for sharing xx

http://new-lune.com

Cordelia Moor
Guest

This is such a useful post, and so sensitively and well done. A really useful guide for anyone who doesn’t even know where to begin after the loss of a loved one – I’ve personally not lost anyone close to me yet (touch wood), and I wouldn’t even know right now how to start coping. Wonderfully done, as always

Cordelia || cordeliamoor.com

Lupe
Guest
Lupe

This is written so beautifully. When I lost my grandmother a few years ago it was so hard to truly understand that she was gone. It was hard at first, but I will always cherish the moments we shared

Michelle Blackadar
Guest
Michelle Blackadar

such a beautiful post lisa! i’ve never really experienced grieving because my lost my grandparents before i was a teenager so I wasn’t able to understand the importance of them passing. however i feel i grieve them more now that i’m older and do understand how much i’m missing out on by not being able to have a relationship with them. your tips are so true, i can imagine how easy it can be to forget to take care of yourself especially if you have kids that you feel you need to put on a “brave” face for. incredible job… Read more »

Creative Nails
Guest

This is a such a well-written post – you’ve written it in a lovely and thoughtful way that clearly shows how caring you are. I haven’t lost any close family members, but I have seen how much of an impact it had when my auntie passed away. Seeing how it affected my mum was so sad and really tough to see. I’m sure you will help so many people with this post as you write about so many important things that will help people.

Amy,
https://creativenails.uk

Cynthia
Guest
Cynthia

This is a lovely post, definitely could have used this to get through a few of my own losses. Thank you for sharing this!

Cyn
cynspo.wordpress.com

Ruth
Guest

This is such a beautiful post, Lisa, and I think the first point in particular is very important. Too often, people try to be strong – particularly if they have others relying on them – and their grief just bubbles up inside. My grandma died when I was young, and now I’m older, I find myself thinking about my mum. She was strong for me and my siblings, but it must have been incredibly difficult for her as it was her mum. Given that I can’t imagine life without my own mum, I think how amazing it is that she… Read more »

kate
Guest
kate

Gosh that is such a tough age to lose your Mum. This post is beautifully written and very well-thought through. It can be so hard to think of anything or get clarity on *anything*, and these tips are all so useful. I absolutely love what your client says about healing for the past and preparing for the future – what a comforting thought.
Kate x
http://www.findingkate.co

Brandy
Guest

This is so helpful. I’ve had quite a few losses over these last few years and just dealt with the loss of my grandmother back in August. I’m still grieving, and as a matter of fact, the Holiday’s following the death of a loved one are super rough. Thank you for sharing this. <3

Prachi maulingker Naik
Guest

This is just an emotional blog! To be honest even the thought of loosing your loved one’s breaks you from within. And the way you’ve written this, definitely I could sense the pain you might have gone through when you lost your mother. You’re the strongest; I must say that you had the courage to put this up so beautifully on the blog.

Lauren
Guest

This is such a helpful and compassionate post, coming from personal experience and love. Looking after yourself is so important. Thank you for sharing your personal experience. Xx

Dessy
Guest

I feel for you darling… I hope that you are okay and continue living and looking at the positive side of life! Kisses
Dessy Markova | https://satinoflux.com