How to Make The Best Rude Christmas Cards *

AD | Want to make your holly-jolly Christmas extra jolly this year? Have you ever thought about sending out some naughty and rude Christmas cards? The Christmas season is full of pleasantries and niceties, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be able to spread a little extra festive cheer. Why not pair your inside knowledge of the recipient with a personalised rude Christmas card from Boomf to leave your friend, partner, sibling, or more laughing all the way (ho-ho-ho) 🙂

What Are Rude Christmas Cards?

The tradition of sending Christmas cards is a long-standing one. But it’s not just about sending the card, it’s about the message you send with it. Rude Christmas cards are a form of humour that’s become popular in recent years. These cards are typically insulting, and often filled with innuendo, but provided you choose carefully, they’re sure to make someone laugh.

Insulting Cards

There’s no harm in throwing a bit of shade (or snow) this holiday season. Insulting cards are a good way of poking fun at your family member or friend. After all, everyone loves a good Christmas roast.

If you’re hard-pressed for ideas, here are some funny Christmas-themed rude messages:

• “No presents for you this year, ho-ho-hoe.”
• “I only got you a card in case you got me one.”
• “Santa loves everyone… apart from you.
• “Merry Christmas, deck the halls yourself.”
• “Santa says you have Daddy issues and to stop calling him Father Christmas.”

Bawdy Cards

Solidify your status on the naughty list by sending a bawdy Christmas card. These are especially good for your partner! Bawdy Christmas cards are a sure fire way to get your partner’s cheeks rosy – and not from chestnuts roasting on an open fire. You could even add some coupons for free favours in the card, eg, a massage, or whatever else takes your fancy. There’s no reason why you couldn’t add some humour to this as well, for instance, personalising the card with a photo of your face edited onto their celebrity crush.

Vulgar Cards

Another option with rude Christmas cards is vulgarity – think toilet humour. This is particularly popular with children. This is one way of giving some of the young ones in your family a chuckle without broaching anything that is too offensive. Here’s a vulgar, but child-orientated, adaptation of the popular Christmas song you could use: “He sees you when you’re sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. He knows when you’ve been pooping. So, wash your hands for goodness sake.”

Who Can You Send Rude Christmas Cards To?

Rude humour, bawdy jokes, and vulgarity may not work for everyone. A mild joke of this sort may even work for a kid or teenager, but be sure to reserve more offensive ones for adults. Plus, if you don’t want to be misunderstood, send rude Christmas cards only to friends and family who know your sense of humour and share it. Keep in mind, that these types of cards are usually filled with innuendo, so they’re not all suitable for kids. Before letting your children near the Christmas card box, make sure they know which cards are off-limits.

However, if you want to go all out with your naughtiness and rude Christmas cards, here are some alternative options and recipients you may want to consider:

• Anyone who’s done you wrong in the past year can be sent a frosty greeting card.
• Friends and family who haven’t been very supportive lately could get royal treatment with a snarky card.
• Send a rude Christmas card to a nasty neighbour. A subtle joke on a card is a nice way to retort to their neighbourly shenanigans. You may want to keep your anonymity, though, you know, just to be safe.

But don’t take it too far. Make it sound good-hearted to soften things and keep your relationships on reasonable terms.

What Design To Choose?

When it comes to choosing the design of your rude Christmas card, there’s a plethora of options out there. Such as taking a traditional symbol of Christmas and giving it an unexpected twist with a good-humoured rude phrase for the right effect. Even a simple card with nothing rude in its design can be combined nicely with your naughty or bawdy greeting to get your desired message across. In this case, just make sure that the design of the card somehow hints at the message you’re sending.

Christmas is a time to be kind and festive, but some people can take the holiday a bit too seriously. If you like to send Christmas cards that are polite and sweet, then you might want to reconsider this year. There’s nothing wrong with sending cards that are cordial and nice, but there’s also something fun about sending cards that are a little bit spicier.

Why not switch things up this year and put the rude in Rudolph? Who do you know that would appreciate some rude humour to break up their reserved, polite Christmas? Which of these ideas for sending a rude Christmas card do you like the most?

* This is a collaborative post – please see my Disclaimer.