GIFTED | Looking and planning ahead for a holiday in the sun is always exciting, isn’t it? Well, except for the one thing that always fills me with dread. Feeling comfortable and confident enough to reveal my body by the pool and sea. Because body confidence is not something I’ve really enjoyed since my early twenties. And I’m sure I’m probably not alone in this. Over the (rather too many to admit to here) intervening years, my self-confidence has trickled away. And I now rarely – if ever – post photos of myself, and certainly not from the neck down. Why has this happened and what can I do to rectify this feeling?
What does body confidence mean to me?
Well, in its simplest terms, being comfortable in my own skin. Looking back on my teenage beach body, I’m struck by how happy I am. I have no desire to cover up and I’m flaunting the flattest tummy ever (sorry for the photo quality though). Back then I clearly didn’t care what anyone else thought of me, I was just happy in my own skin. I’m sure the sunshine also had a lot to do with it too, I am definitely a summer girl and born in the wrong country…
So what’s changed?
My body has gone through a lot of changes. I’ve never been a fan of exercise, although I do try to make an effort (usually in fits and starts followed by long pauses in between). Trying to conceive and pregnancy took a huge toll as well. While I’m immeasurably proud that my body grew, carried and fed my daughter, a slipped disc and acute sciatica do not lay the foundations for an easy or enjoyable exercise regime.
And working from home means sitting at a desk for most of the day. Truth time: I’ve put on two stone since going freelance, which is a real game changer in the body confidence stakes. This article from Bustle has some fabulous quotes about how we women (of course) see our bodies, and my favourite is no. 18:
“The problem isn’t with your body, the problem is what you think of it.”
Is it an age thing?
“Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinite variety.” I’m no Cleopatra but it’s interesting to note that she was one of Shakespeare’s oldest heroines. And one of the most alluring, powerful, and confident women of her time too. She was at the height of her attractiveness in her later years and clearly had no issue with body confidence.
So no, I don’t think it is an age thing. I’m far more confident in dealing with issues than I was in my youth. And if I don’t get the service I pay for, I have no hesitation in going all the way until I get a satisfactory resolution. (Just ask our local Pets At Home when I demanded (and got) a refund for every single one of Flora’s 30-odd fish, shrimps, and snails that died over a nine-month period).
Is it a weight thing?
Um, haters gonna hate, but I’m going to have to say yes. I wrote recently about having to take a break from blogging because it had become all-consuming and was affecting my mental health. To the point that a real-life comment about my appearance (which I know wasn’t meant with any unkind intent) hit me much harder than it should have done.
I am overweight. I am not a healthy weight. And I am not happy about that. I know the answer lies with me (exercise) but that still doesn’t mean I can find the motivation to do something. I don’t like breaking into a sweat, and I have to be careful about any stretching because of my sciatic tissue damage. Do you see my (partly self-inflicted) problem?
Could a new swimsuit help me?
As a blogger, I’m forever grateful that anyone would feel my little corner of the Internet is of interest. And never in my wildest imaginings did I think a swimwear company would get in touch. But… UK Swimwear* did. And with an offer to choose a new swimsuit from their range of over 50 designer swimwear brands including high end, mastectomy, sportswear, and plus size. They really do have designs for everyone, whether you’re after a bikini, monokini, tankini, or, like me, a swimsuit.
To be honest, at first I said no thank you, because, you know, my body confidence issues. But Rachael and Marta were so kind and encouraging that I realised I’d be a complete fool not to jump at the opportunity. So, this is the swimsuit I eventually chose, which arrived the very next day after I’d ordered it. Fantastic service or what? And I absolutely LOVE it.
It’s the Gottex Profile Grand Prix Monochrome Zip Swimsuit* (£102.95) which I got in a size 16. The sculptural white lines on black are incredibly slimming and flattering, rather like those famous body con dresses you see Victoria Beckham wearing.
The suit also features mesh inserts (cooling not just fashionable), built in tummy control (yay) and soft cups for a natural, comfy fit for my 34DD bazookas.
And the gorgeous deep V-back (for maximum tanning) is mirrored by the zippered Bond-girl V-front. So I can go as low as I dare (not as low as my husband would like, I mean there’s voluptuous and then there’s indecent…)
How does my swimsuit make me feel?
It’s hard to put into words how this swimsuit makes me feel. I actually cried a little when I first tried it on because I felt so wowed. Never again will I underestimate the power of a well-designed and well thought out swimsuit. While I’m not yet confident enough to post a picture of my body now for the world to see, instead of dreading the first day at the beach, I will actually look forward to it.
Although I know my new swimsuit doesn’t address the underlying issue of me carrying too much weight, it’s a big step in the right direction for my own body confidence. A huge thank you to UK Swimwear for gifting me my lovely new swimsuit, and for giving me so much more besides. Gottex have a strapline: Every Woman Has Her Own Profile. And now, I have mine.
Are you lacking in body confidence too? How do you tackle any feelings of low self-esteem that you experience?
* This post features a gifted item, but all opinions are my own.
Lisa I love this post!! Body confidence & self-confidence & all those kinds of things are something I’ve been thinking about/struggling with for a very long time, and it’s so cool to see someone who isn’t your typical insta person talking so candidly and honestly about it. Refreshing, and just what this world needs. You are a STAR
Cordelia || cordeliamoor.com
Aw, Cordelia, thank you so much, that’s such a lovely thing to say. I think this is probably one of the most personal and honest posts I’ve written, and it nearly didn’t happen because I turned the swimsuit opportunity down at first! I’m so glad I didn’t though, and not just because I love my new costume, but if this helps to open up the debate around body confidence and not being Insta-perfect then that’s just wonderful. Thank you again xx
This is such a wonderful post, Lisa! It is beautifully written and wow, what a gorgeous swimsuit too! I think body confidence issues is such a common thing, I know I don’t feel 100% happy with my body and there are always areas I wish were more toned, slimmer, less wobbly, etc. I agree, having to sit at the computer most of the day makes it quite a challenge at times to fit in exercise. Thank you for being so open, honest and relatable. Also, I’m SO happy for you that you got the most perfect swimsuit, it’s beautiful and brilliantly designed, I love the quality and attention to detail. Bring on the summer and those beachy days, I’m sure you are gonna look fabulous!! <3 xxx
Thank you so much, Bexa, I was so lucky to be given this opportunity. Body confidence is a topic that’s close to my heart, as you can probably tell (!) but I’m glad it resonates with others as well. There’s so much pressure on women to look fabulous but Photoshop can’t help in real life, although having a gorgeous costume certainly goes a long way towards that. As you say, bring on the beach days, and some hot sunny weather too 🙂 xx
This is a brilliant post Lisa, one I think we can all relate to no matter what our size, shape or self esteem I think we all at times have body confidence issues. The swimsuit looks divine, love the piping detail, very chic and classy
Thank you, Gem, that’s so kind. And the swimsuit looks even better IRL, rather than slightly crumpled in the flatlay! x
I LOVE that this swimsuit gave you a confidence boost. It’s always something I’ve struggled with and agree that swimwear usually causes nothing but dread. I love the design of this one too! x
Sophie
http://www.glowsteady.co.uk
Thank you, Sophie, it’s such a gorgeous costume, I feel very lucky and very happy! x
Love this post. It is always so heard to be 100% body confident. I have been struggling a lot in the past. A gorgeous swimsuit, or dress or any other piece of clothing that makes you feel amazing can be a real boost!
They can be, can’t they? I think I’d forgotten what a difference a lovely piece of clothing can make!
LOVE this — and yes, it really is about being happy inside your own skin. Good for you for going for it!
Thank you so much, Kelly that’s really kind 🙂
This is such a nice post. I love how honest you are about your body confidence issues. I think almost everyone can relate to that. I love the swimsuit you picked out though!
Nicola
Aw, thank you, Nic, I’m so happy with my new costume, it makes me feel wonderful!
Aw, this was such a lovely heart warming post Lisa. I’m so happy to hear that your new swimsuit made you feel good when you wore it. It’s important to remember our bodies do change and to love what they become – still trying to learn that one myself!
Thank you so much, Kim! And yes, you’re absolutely right about body changes, I think that’s a constant learning process 🙂
Lisa, this post brought tears to my eyes, because I’m so happy that you were given something that makes you feel this way. I have almost no body confidence and mine is due to my weight. I lost a few stone a couple of years ago, which really helped, but I’ve put it back on in the last year. The thing is, the way our minds work is strange. If I looked at someone else my size, I wouldn’t think they had any reason to dislike their body but when it comes to me, I just pick it apart. That said, I have had a few pieces of clothing which have made me cry because they’ve fit so perfectly and those rare, beautiful moments when I don’t hate my body are so precious.
Swimwear is a particularly troubling thing when you have no body confidence and, frankly, I think you should be so proud of yourself for even taking the opportunity to try it! That alone is a big step, as I tend to shy away from even the thought of it (which is probably why Neal and I are yet to go on any sort of beach holiday!)
Thank you so much for being open and honest about this subject. I know I’ve already said it, but it really does make me happy that you found something – particularly swimwear – that made you feel so good. Though I’ve never seen you (except your lovely face, of course!), I’m sure you’re more beautiful than you think and you are an absolutely delightful person to know. I’m trying to focus on qualities other than my body in an attempt to love myself more, so I just want you to know that you have a heart of gold, you seem like a great mum and you’re very talented. In reality, those things matter far more than what shape or size you are or ever will be.
Oh, Ruth. I don’t know what to say. I think this is the loveliest comment I’ve EVER had. It made me well up the first time I read it and every time again since then. Thank you soooo much, you are the kindest lady. Your words have absolutely made my day. When I wrote this piece, I hoped it might strike a chord with a few people (there’s no point in writing something like this without being honest, is there?) but a response like yours is beyond my wildest expectations. Please know that you are every bit as beautiful outside as you are inside, which is saying a lot. Thank you, thank you, thank you! xxx
Great post Lisa. I lack confidence too especially because of my weight. However I have tried and reduced my weight a lot almost 12kgs to what I was 10 years ago. But still I can never feel confident in a swimsuit. Hehe. 🙂
Via | http://glossnglitters.com
That’s a huge achievement, you should be very proud of yourself! And I’m sure you look lovely in a swimsuit too 🙂 x
I relate to this post SO much. I am so not confident in my own skin anyway but put swimwear in the mix to go swimming or to the beach, I’ll be the one covered up as too self conscious. I would love to feel more confident. In the next week I am joining slimming world and I know it works for me as I lost 2 stone and I felt so much more confident. So I want to get back to that! That swimsuit is beautiful. I love the design! Thank you for sharing your own personal feelings about body confidence it’s good to read I’m not alone in these feelings xx
Aw, Lauren, I’m so glad you enjoyed this post, it was a very personal one for me and on a very sensitive topic too 🙂 Like you, I feel more confident when I carry less weight, although I know it makes no difference to my husband who loves me regardless. Whatever works for us though, right? Good luck with slimming world, and you are very much NOT alone in feeling the way you do. Thank you for your lovely comment xx
I think body confidence is something that the vast majority of people (especially women probably) struggle with, justified or not. This looks like a beautiful design and I’m so pleased to hear that you were wowed by how it looks on you- anything that has the ability to increase confidence is worth every penny!
Soph – http://sophhearts.com x
Thank you so much, Soph, I do feel very lucky 🙂 x
Ahh Lisa I love this post! That photo of you is absolutely awesome, but you are just as gorgeous today as you were then! I think work has such an effect on our bodies; whether we’re freelance, or we work from home or are just in jobs that we find unbearably challenging! Those physical struggles sound very challenging – sciatica and slipped discs are no fun, so good for you doing any exercise at all, even if you do take a break in between! I’m so glad you felt encouraged to post about this lovely swimsuit, and I’m so happy it made you feel so wonderful – no one deserves it more! It’s absolutely gorgeous and I’m off to check out UK Swimwear now, they sound like a fabulous place to begin the hunt for something that suits!
Kate x
Oh, Kate, this is so lovely of you, thank you so much! You’re absolutely right about work and the physical effect on our bodies, my deskbound job seems to have adversely affected mine, sadly. But I absolutely LOVE my new swimsuit, I’m so happy I took the plunge (no pun intended) and I really can’t wait to wear it on the beach this year. I’m sure you’ll find something gorgeous over on UK Swimwear’s site and their customer service is amazing too. Good luck if you decide to treat yourself and thank you again for your lovely comment! xx
Such a wonderful blog post darling! I can relate to so much of what you have said. Everyone needs to read this post, thank you for sharing and being so open. 💜
With love, Alisha Valerie x | http://www.alishavalerie.com
Thank you so much, that’s really very kind of you 🙂
Lisa, I love this post!! Body confidence and self-love go hand-in-hand! I’ve been struggling with mine recently but after reading this, might just have to go out and get a new swimsuit! Thanks for sharing, Lisa!
Thank you so much, Eena, that’s so lovely to hear – I hope you do treat yourself, I was amazed at how good a lovely swimsuit made me feel about myself! xx
‘There’s voluptuous and then there’s indecent’ HAHAHA this line had me laughing out loud! I can imagine how gorgeous you look in your new swimsuit Lisa 🙂 I love the design too and it sounds like a very well made and thought out garment. I struggle with body confidence too and always worry about beaches and pools. Not even sure why because I’ve not been on a beach holiday since I was about 8 years old or near a pool since I was around 15 :/ ah well, maybe this year I’ll get away to somewhere hot and sunny 🙂 x x
Ellis
Thank you, Ellis, that’s so kind of you 🙂 I’m hoping my new swimsuit will give me the confidence to go swimming with Flora this year – she’s such a water baby and I always feel bad that I don’t go in with her. I absolutely love the design of this costume, it’s so flattering, I feel very lucky to have had the opportunity to work with this company! xx
I love this post! This is something I’ve always struggled with ever since a young age. I’ve only started to accept my body now but still I’m not a 100% happy about it but I’m trying every single day. It’s such a cute swimsuit!
http://new-lune.com
Ah, thank you so much, I’m so glad this struck a chord! And yes, the swimsuit is gorgeous 🙂 x
Ahhhh! Omg Lisa! This is such a brilliant and heart felt post! I’m totally in love with this positive energy and the realness of this post. So many people struggle with body confidence it’s like one of the main things we see so many people talk about on social media and it’s understandable, especially when people who barely know you have the most to say about your body. Honestly, sometimes it’s still a struggle for me and it is a struggle worth fighting. I think you continue to be a fab example for Flora. Your honesty makes this post that much more real! Also I’m really digging this swimsuit you got and I’m glad you are too! 😀 💕💕
Oh, Lena, thank you so much, what a lovely thing to say! You’re so right about social media and people who don’t know you thinking they have a right to judge you (although I’m my own worst critic to be fair). I do want to be a positive role model for Flora, the very last thing I want for her is to not feel body confident, so anything that helps me with that is going to be a bonus 🙂 xx
Love your pick.
This brand has so much to offer.
xx
https://theonethattravels.wordpress.com/
Thank you very much – and yes, they do! 🙂
Aww, this is a great post. I’m sure so many people will relate to you with body confidence, I definitely do! I’ve never had much confidence in myself, but in the past year or so I can definitely see a difference to how I used to look a few years ago. This is such a gorgeous swimsuit, and I’m so happy to hear how amazing this swimsuit makes you feel. You deserve it!
Amy,
https://creativenails.uk
Thank you, Amy, this is so kind of you 🙂 Body confidence is a strange thing, I’m sure others don’t see me with the same critical eye that I view myself but silencing my inner critic is just so hard. I’m very lucky to have found a swimsuit that makes it a little easier 🙂 xx
I love this post Lisa, you have written it so honestly, from the heart and I can totally relate to it. That must have been such a wonderful feeling to put on an item of clothing and for it to really make you feel “wow” and to make you feel confident wearing it, I am sure you will look stunning when you go to that pool xx
Oh thank you so much, Fiona, this was such a personal post and I’m so glad that it resonated with you too. Whoever would have thought that a piece of swimwear could have such a profound effect? I’m very lucky, and thank you for your lovely comment xx