New Year 2018. Wow. Where has time gone? After looking back at last year’s goals, I’ve been thinking very hard about whether I want to set myself any 2018 goals or not. And, you know what? I don’t. I’m going to be kinder and focus on some aspirations instead. Is this just semantics? I don’t think so.
Keeping it simple
A line from the James Bond film, Spectre, which we watched recently, has stuck with me, “You’re a kite dancing in a hurricane.” This feels exactly like me. I start doing something and then an email, text, social media, or Messenger notification pings up and I stop to read and, often as not, deal with the interruption. And then I have to try and pick up the thread of whatever I was doing.
This happens on repeat, all day, every day, whether I’m working, blogging, reading, gardening, or even just trying to take 10 minutes to sit and do nothing. I don’t know why I feel I need to attend to every interruption, it’s such a tiring way of living. So this year I’m aspiring to stop reacting instantaneously every time. Easier said than done, but I’m going to try.
Self-care
Ah, self-care, the buzzword and hashtag of 2018 already. Don’t we all know at least one friend who seems to be lit from within? Well I want to be her too. And I’ve come to realise that means taking some time out for me, whether it’s painting my nails (just not before a stint in the garden, lesson learned!), upping my masking game, taking a candle-lit bath, or sitting quietly for 10 minutes every day to reflect on things. I need to make time for myself, whatever that means, and do it. I’m aspiring to change my script.
Detoxing
Last year quite a few people let me down, sometimes on purpose, sometimes thoughtlessly. And I spent a lot of time agonising over why and dreaming up convoluted scenarios of how I could deal with these situations. None of it helped and in fact it took my focus away from what is really important to me, ie, my family. So this year I’m aspiring to discard all those toxic so-called friends and acquaintances, and focus on those who truly have my back.
Saying No
This is a hard one for me to write. I hate saying No to anyone for anything. What if I come across as hard or unhelpful? But I’ve often landed myself with tasks that I’ve struggled with or taken on projects that, with hindsight, I shouldn’t have accepted. And it’s put pressure on me that I just don’t need. So many people are (frequently) just looking to offload their own troubles or burdens, but this year I’m aspiring to start saying No, on a selective basis, to preserve my own sense of worth if nothing else.
Asking for help
One of my clients writes frequently about perfection being a myth and that we should stop being so hard on ourselves. This is also true of me. I need to accept that sometimes I can’t do everything, and I don’t know all the answers. And I’ve come to realise that perfection isn’t attractive anyway, it’s our flaws and vulnerabilities that make us accessible and real. This year I aspire to learn to ask for help, from my family, friends, colleagues, with whatever challenge, be it ever so small, that I’m facing.
Why aspirations and not goals?
I don’t want to set myself targets that I’ll feel bad about if I don’t meet so this is why I’m choosing aspirations rather than goals. Some would say I’m splitting hairs and this is just a matter of semantics but words have such power, for me anyway. So this year, rather than piling on pressure from the very beginning, I’m aspiring to start 2018 with a feeling of optimism and hope instead. Who’s with me?
What are your aspirations for this year?
Great aspirations here Lisa! I feel a lot of us need to work on our self care and keeping it simple!
Thank you! I think keeping it simple is key, I’ve set myself so many targets in the past but, surprise, surprise, not managed to meet them all, haha. X
I’ve always found “No” a very difficult word Lisa, but have had to take myself in hand. It’s too easy to slip into being “available” to all and sundry, until you wake up to the fact that you are now the stressed and frazzled one, not them.
And the big hurdle is guilt. But there’s no reason to feel guilty, I have decided.
We need to look after ourselves – if not, we’re not likely to be of any real use to others in any case!
Thank you so much, Mary, I know exactly what you mean about guilt but, you’re right, there’s no reason to feel guilty and we do need to look after ourselves otherwise we’re no use to anyone, including us! X
I think aspirations are a great idea if you don’t want to set yourself any goals! You’ve included some great ones here and I can definitely relate to your first point and that quote from James Bond (don’t really like JB though!) fab post, as always! xxx
Thank you, I think it was serendipity that we watched Spectre just before I wrote this post, that quote was just perfect timing! x
Good on you for starting the new year with optimism and hope, that definitely is the way forward! Taking a bit of time out to give yourself some TLC so quickly gets forgotten when life gets busy, so I’m really glad to hear that you’ll be making this such a priority for you in 2018! I couldn’t agree more about our flaws, vulnerabilities and general lack of perfection being what makes us human and relatable – asking for help is something that should be valued and not looked down upon, that’s an excellent message to send with this post!
Abbey xx
Thank you so much, Abbey. I think the asking for help aspiration is the one I’m going to struggle most with this year but I really need to try. And the saying no, that’s so contrary to me, unless of course it’s to Flora about more sweets, haha! xx
These all sound like great aspirations Lisa! I hope you manage to achieve them all. Saying no is definetly a tough one ?
Thank you – yes, saying no is going to be a huge struggle but I’m going to really try!
I love that this is primarily about taking care of yourself. Saying no is definitely one of the best things to improve on. Loving the positivity x
Sophie
http://www.glowsteady.co.uk
Thank you, Sophie, I’m aiming to really improve my self care game this year, I’ve been neglecting me for what feels like rather too long! x
Loving your goals and aspirations. Self care is such an important one for me this year, everyone could do with it. Detoxing is also a great one, I’m detoxing all aspects of my life this year. Good luck with them all, I know you’ll smash them!
Jordanne || Thelifeofaglasgowgirl.co.uk
Thank you! Detoxing is a strange one for me but, based on last year, I think it’s one I really need to address. I don’t want to spend my time with people who don’t value me, just those that I know love me and are there for me. x
These are really great aspirations, I especially love your first point about getting distracted because this is me all day every day. My main aspiration / goal is just to BE healthier, no matter what that means. I want to make better and healthier choices, that’s about it ? #TeacupClub
Shevy
Oh distractions, they are just the worst! It’s so draining because I literally feel like I’m pulled in all different directions. Good luck with your healthier choices, I hope 2018 is good to you! X
A lovely post, Lisa. I agree with starting the New Year with hope and optimism rather than goals that will make you feel stressed out if you don’t achieve them. Happy New Year x
Thank you so much, I’m all about being as stress-free as possible this year, fingers crossed. Happy New Year to you too! x
these are greats goals. Also very important one. Self care is something i need to focus on. Saying no too. xx corinne
Saying no is going to be soooo hard, I’m dreading my first time, haha! x
Great post Lisa! Love your self care tips, I love treating myself to a bath. Saying no is defo something I need to do more of! Especially at work! Really enjoyed reading this xx
Aw, thank you, Rebecca, that’s really kind. Saying no is the one I’m going to struggle with this year, I know it, but it’s got to be done! X
I really like how you have chosen aspirations not goals Lisa! It really takes the pressure off and especially relevant as one of your aspirations is self-care. This is such a great list! I really need to practise keeping it simple too, I always get so distracted, especially with social media, it’s definitely addictive he he xx
Ah social media, I love it but it’s sooooo distracting, haha. Yes, 2018 is going to be the year I really try hard to allow myself some me time – fingers crossed I manage it! Xx
Hi, I love the quote relating to James Bond this is so me, I think I need to take your goals onboard as well. Have a fab 2018 ?.
Haha, it was pure serendipity that we watched the film the night before I wrote this post! I’m glad my aspirations strike a chord – I hope you have a wonderful 2018 too X
These are great tips and motivators. I think 2018 should be a year of self care as it’s very important. I also think “No” can be hard to say especially when you can tell help is needed.
xx Lena
Thank you ? Saying no is going to be my hardest challenge, for sure, closely followed by asking for help, but we’ll see how we go! X
I love writing goals at the beginning of the year, it helps me get movitated and something to work on through the year. You have written some great aspirations.
Steph x
stephhannam.wordpress.com
Thank you very much, I hope I’ll manage most of them although saying no and asking for help are going to be my biggest challenges! x
It’s so interesting that you’ve mentioned the semantics issue, cause this year I’ve gone from ‘resolutions’ to ‘goals’. I know you’re moving away from that word but I feel, like you, like it’s more about moving towards something than it is about setting yourself hard rules that you’ll inevitably break. It feels like a much healthier way to tackle the New Year!
I have to say that I think all your aspirations are excellent, a lot of them are things I want to incorporate into my lifestyle too. I love that so many of your aspirations revolve around being a bit kinder to yourself, and making you a priority. You’re such a lovely woman Lisa and I think you deserve all the happiness you can get. Hope 2018 is a cracker for you!
Beth x
Aw, Beth, my nose was prickling as I read your comment, what a lovely thing to say, thank you so much. I’m hoping aspirations rather than goals will lead some more successful achievements in 2018, I just don’t want to set myself up to fail so fingers crossed this works! Again, thank you so much, and right back at you, lovely lady! XX
Loved this post. I like how you reflected on last year and decided not to set concrete goals because you know it doesn’t work for you. To me aspirations means something more abstract. They’re not something you can tick off the list, rather something you feel inside of you.
Good luck with your aspirations, I think you’re gonna have a great year 🙂
Aw, thank you, I hope 2018 is the year I manage to do some of the things I want to – keeping things abstract will hopeully work better for me, haha! x
Happy New Year Lisa! This is such a great list of aspirations and I hope you do well with them 🙂
Thank you, fingers crossed anyway! And Happy New Year to you too x